Roast Beef Vag

Cleveland is a shit city on a shit-filled lake. Don’t we deserve to win? Doesn’t Lebron deserve it despite the lack of help from his teammates? Don’t worry world, we’ll still have the Indians and the Browns to keep us in our shitty place…but can’t we have just one glimmer of a silver lining?

Here’s an editorial that makes me proud to call myself part white.

Would you believe it took the tow truck 2 HOURS to get to me. Even with a blanket on me, my toes and hands were numb and whole body just cold. And to make matters worse I was still fucked up with a hangover, sleepy as hell and feeling like crap because the cold that I was getting over came back all over again. My voice was all scruffy and my nose was runny.

I was bored and on facebook and someone tagged me in a note to do this.  So I decided to post it on here to so you can get to know just a little bit about me.
1. I’m truly obsessed with ANTM (America’s Next Top Model). I can watch any and every episode over and over [...]

For those of you that watch Top Chef and just couldn’t figure out where you’ve seen that Carla girl before, look no further. She is the black live action version of Beaker from the muppets.

What follows is a list of individuals that have successfully completed their service to humanity and therefore deserve to be respectfully retired. Someone should take it upon himself to humanely euthanize these people because all that is left is a future of public humiliation, and it is much better to die a legend than to keep on living when your heyday has passed.

I can barely afford my own goddamn bills as a single woman with no children and you decide to have 15 motherfuckin’ kids and then ask for a handout? How about you abort the next child and buy me some groceries instead. Just some groceries, I’m not asking for a house.

Check out this little animation…

Seriously, there are a helluva bunch of Koreans out there that would look upon Fido as a delicacy, so it can’t be too shabby for people that regularly dine on shit flavored air.

I woke up this morning and my upper lip smelled like pussy. My hand smelled like dick, but my nose isn’t above my hand so I kept smelling pussy. I was running late for a hair appointment so I didn’t shower and was sitting there the whole time curling my lip to my nose and smelling the pussy.